AFTERNOON NAPS & A CUP OF TEA

As Summer Draws Toward Its End

elaaaine — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 23:18:34 +0000

Although I’d vaguely understood the notion in my mind for a while now, today is the first day that it has come alive to me as an actual, conscious realization. This distinct awareness, no doubt, is due in a large part to the rather major events I have coming up for me this week.

Significant fact number one: I start my first day of work tomorrow.

Important occurrence number two: I move in to my dorm room this Friday.

Which brings me here to this living, indisputable conclusion: my leisurely summer days are coming to a close.

I feel like I am altogether ready and still very much unprepared. Part of me wants to protest, “I’m not yet done!” There are letters to write even now, friends to meet up with for one last get together. The sheer amount of cleaning I have yet to finish continues to loom over me ominously. I have books I still want to read and, oh, good grief, books; acquiring the necessary textbooks for my classes is still a (very slow) work in progress. But, at the same time, I think I may burst if I have to wait any longer. It’s been forever since I’ve worked at a job. I want to hurry up and meet everyone already — my new roomie, the SMC staff I’ll be apart of, my PA, all the girls that will be on our floor. My dear friends, ohhhh, how beyond excited I am to finally see them again.

The changing of seasons always seems to be like this, more or less. Ahhh, summertime. I’ll miss your days of ease and open-ended possibility.

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/margolove/3736974432]

Posted in And Such Is Life

I Want To Bake A Do-Over Gâteau Au Yaourt, But There Are No More Eggs & I Can’t Decide If Blackberries Are A Good Idea Or Not

elaaaine — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 06:03:15 +0000

It is always such a letdown when I am disappointed by a recipe. And I don’t mean mildly disappointed by those various hitches & setbacks that nearly always emerge during baking projects (I’ve actually developed a pledge I recite before each venture — “I, Elaine, accept that: snags are inevitable, it is unreasonable to expect perfection on first attempts, and I am my own worst critic. Therefore, I will: be flexible, treat every endeavor as a learning process, and remember — most of all! — to enjoy myself. Because that is why I do it; that is why I bake.”); I mean flat out, I-don’t-know-if-I-can-eat-this-anymore disappointed.

It kills me a little when it happens. Because I hate wasting ingredients. Because if I don’t want to eat it, I sure-as-heck don’t want to feed it to others. Especially because I am rather meticulous about choosing recipes to begin with; it is not unusual for me to bookmark 4-5 variations of a single recipe for comparison, or for me to read quite extensively about the history/context of the food item beforehand.

Sigh. To be fair, there are many points along the way which I could have irrevocably erred while constructing my gâteau au yaourt, but it is alright now; I am moving on. I am letting go. New day, new recipe, new start.

A new dilemma, too, I might (oh-so-cheekily) add. I have yet to decide how many liberties I want to take this time around with my second attempt at gâteau au yaourt. Most notably, I can’t make up my mind as to whether or not to add blackberries again. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

I suspect that, either way, I will still end up picking blackberries; I’ve found it’s a fairly enjoyable experience, even if I am a bit scatter-brained regarding the matter. Case in point: the first time around, I wandered about my neighborhood to peruse where blackberry bushes were growing. I spotted a promising bush and was ready to get down to berry-picking business until I paused and surveyed what I was wearing: a white tee, jeans, and flip flops. Thus, I promptly went home and changed into a dark, long-sleeved jacket and tennis shoes. Pffft, silly me, haha.

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/threelayercake/1019242393/in/photostream]

Posted in "House's House Of Whining. State Your Complaint.", I Probably Love Food Too Much. But, Whatever, At Least I'll Be A Happy Fat Fatty, Why, Yes, I Realize This Is Unhealthy, You Call It Being Old & So Not Hip, But The Correct Term Is Actually Domestic Bliss

It’s Raining

elaaaine — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 10:41:11 +0000

It hasn’t rained like this for a while. But today it did, and it was a welcome change.

I love when it rains because it fills me with a sense of peace. There is nothing that calms quite like a rainy day, no experience that can really compare to an unhurried morning of watching raindrops fall and quietly listening to the rain. I drank untold amounts of jasmine green tea and was reminded of how to be still again. It was a much needed reminder, in truth; things happen when you are still. Life becomes more beautiful. The world seems to open up in mysterious ways that are strangely familiar. There is a language of the universe that finds its way to your heart.

And maybe it sounds funny to you, but I think it’s one of those things that you have to feel to understand. And I think you also have to believe a little that the universe is alive and God is in the rain. That’s where today found me, at least, as I let the sound of the rain fill my thoughts with gentle truths.

Nobody belongs here more than you. Did you know that? This is it, and you are it. Do not doubt, do not hesitate, do not let your questions suffocate you. Breathe. Let go. You are exactly where you need to be.

Posted in Sometimes You Just Have Those Days, Y'know? It Happens

Caught In Suspension

elaaaine — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:30:54 +0000

One of the things I find nearly always cheers me up is balloons. And I don’t mean those decorative ones which you blow up yourself and throw on the floor, but helium. Those make me smile. Not only because they make your voice high and squeaky (although that’s fun, too) but because, though restrained, they continue to reach far and away into the sky, grasping evermore toward the heavens.

(A silly little thought, to be sure, but it gives me laughter (which heals) and hope (which soothes). I’m a bit simple like that.)

You see, as overly self-indulgent as it sounds, I am seriously contemplating going out and buying myself a few balloons right now. Because, well, I feel like I’m caught in suspension. It’s the “crazy happening” I alluded to earlier: recently, the decision was made that I won’t be returning to Moyer this upcoming year, but, instead, moving to Ashton to be the SMC — Student Ministry Coordinator — for 3rd West. Basically, I’m a floor RA/RLA (the SPU lingo is for it is actually PA — peer advisor) of sorts, but with more emphasis on the spiritual & community opportunities aspect.

In all honesty, I don’t know how to feel about this. It’s super cool stuff, but I have mixed emotions because it’s been such a long and involved process — feeling called, applying for the position, paperwork and interviews, sudden paralyzing doubts from nowhere, finding out I didn’t get a position but was an alternate, writing off the likelihood of the program needing an alternate with part dismay and part relief, being told there was a possible opening on 6th East Ashton, tentatively accepting the stand-in SMC role, hearing that it worked out with 6th East after all, and resigning myself to the fact things didn’t work out for a reason. Then, after I’d already reached a point of closure and seeing how good it was I didn’t become an SMC in Ashton — my wonderful roommie Angela not returning to SPU, the Ashtonians I mused as “a safe base point” all moving to other dorms, a closer introspective look at my strengths & weaknesses, exciting prospects and plans in Moyer — I get a phone call three months into my summer bringing it all up again and requesting my reply come within the next day. Good grief.

Is it any wonder that I am excited and anxious and rapt with anticipation and a tad disappointed and humbled and just everything all at once?

But it’s okay. Really. I’ve made my decision, so I’m going to run with it and run hard. If I meet another snag or doubt (as I am sure will happen), why, all I need to do is turn my mind back to my buoyant balloons.

They are confined by latex, caught in suspension, and left to the discretion of the wind, but that helium; it reaches, it strains, and — at last! — it escapes.

Because latex is porous and complications will pass, y’know?

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/596529]

Posted in And Such Is Life, My Supposed Education

And That Is All, Really

elaaaine — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:28:09 +0000

Ladies! Gentlemen. I hope your fine selves are doing well. My day consisted of accompanying a companion of mine on her rounds and, because we are like-minded individuals, dining on delicious foods. In short:

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i love quality sandwiches,

i love crêpes,

and i love drinking all kinds of tea.

(definite bonus points

if the tea just so happens, y’know, to be free.)

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Posted in I Probably Love Food Too Much. But, Whatever, At Least I'll Be A Happy Fat Fatty, Well, Now. That Was Rather Pointless, Why, Yes, I Realize This Is Unhealthy

Time For The Annual “Family Camp” This Weekend!

elaaaine — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 12:46:49 +0000

Headed off to go camping today! By which I mean I will be spending the weekend doing absolutely nothing but eating Vietnamese food, enjoying the good company of my friends, and perhaps taking a leisurely stroll if the fancy strikes.

Arguably, this does not really count as camping, but, with the murderous ~~mosquitoes~~ conditions that was our youth group camp and the craziest of chances that have occurred these last couple of days (I have caused an entirely different year to happen), I am not one to complain. Especially since I (as well as many others in my church, I’m sure) am anticipating eating lots of freshly caught crab while we’re there.

The drive will take a good chunk of time, so I’d better go eat breakfast now. Ah, and feed The Chad. (He can be hand-fed now! Teaching an old turtle new tricks. Ace.)

Posted in Reportin' Fer Me Blog-Updating Duty (Even Though Thar Ain't Nothin' To Report) As Ordered, Cap'n!

Basically, I Don’t Even Need To Eat Chocolate To Enjoy It — All I Want To Do Is Think, Play, And Tinker With It

elaaaine — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:29:49 +0000

I had a brief moment of elation today when I thought I had (finally!) figured out how to properly temper chocolate for enrobing chocolate truffles. However, my elation quickly turned into dismay when the telltale signs of unsightly blooming started to appear. Curious as to whether or not all of them were out of temper, I resolved to let the rest of the chocolate truffles sit out for a bit so they could come to room temperature for me to check. But (of course) as luck would have it, the hours and shadows aligned themselves ever so perfectly in just the right way to cast a beautiful pool of (disastrously) warm sunshine on the very spot I had decided to leave my truffles. Now I will never, ever know.

Sigh. It seems like it will take a good while longer before I graduate from ~~simple and easy~~ rustic cocoa-dusted truffles to crafting exquisite chocolate-enrobed truffles. In the mean time, whether untempered or melted, chocolate still tastes delicious and that’s reason enough for my siblings to be more than happy to nom on my mishaps.

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/711841]

Posted in I Probably Love Food Too Much. But, Whatever, At Least I'll Be A Happy Fat Fatty, You Call It Being Old & So Not Hip, But The Correct Term Is Actually Domestic Bliss

California Chronicles, Part V

elaaaine — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:15:42 +0000

We’re heading back to Washington in a few hours! I still have a few things to pack, but there’s time enough for me to resume that task later.

Vacations are such strange things, really. I feel like you always try to document them as thoroughly as possible (with such earnest effort that it almost seems one is trying to validate the experience and confirm that, yes, indeed, it was worthwhile), but, in the end, the thing you are most trying to capture — in words, in pictures, in trinkets and keepsakes — will invariably elude you.

Or something like that.

For me, it looks like I’ll be leaving California with painted toes, a few extra pounds from the non-stop eating (at least, I hope it’s only a few), souvenirs galore, a deeper bond with my DS Lite (complete with the level-ups, battle conquests, and high scores to prove it), a fresh perspective, and a lot of memories.

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/653293]

Posted in California Chronicles

California Chronicles, Part IV

elaaaine — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:04:16 +0000

I have a secret! It is a shameful secret, so, undoubtedly, the due course of action is to post it up on the internet for all the virtual world to see. Obviously.

I…have been watching so many Asian dramas while here. They are wholly unrealistic. They are predictably repetitive. They are embarrassingly cheesy. They are actually kind of painful to watch. And yet, I can’t stop myself. Even though I know I will later be upset because the pairing of couples not work out like I want it to and I can feel any remaining intelligence I had slowly slipping away from me. Why I torture myself like this, I don’t know. But I do things like this all the time in all sorts of different contexts.

Like, I make myself eat oatmeal. Which sounds fine, but eating oatmeal is such a bizarre experience for me. It reminds me of eating cháo (aka: jook, congee, rice porridge…) except it’s sweet, and it weirds me out because cháo is most assuredly a savory dish. To put it into perspective for you, it would be akin to having mashed potatoes — a decidedly savory food, what with its varieties of butter/bacon/cheese/garlic and all — with, say, strawberry jam or chocolate sauce or spoonfuls of honey. So, the whole oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins? I feel like I’m eating cháo gone horribly wrong, and yet that doesn’t stop me from insisting I try it once (or twice or fourfold) again.

And, lavender. Lavender! I have such a complicated relationship with it. It is a pretty color and a nice enough flower, but I am trying to come to terms with the fact I cannot abide by its smell. Popular scent or not, there is just something overly sharp and unpleasant about it to me. Despite knowing this, I still have to forcibly stop myself from choosing lavender-scented things when buying air fresheners and reed diffusers.

Elaine, why do you do this to yourself? Sob.

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/567992]

Posted in "House's House Of Whining. State Your Complaint.", California Chronicles, It's (Probably/Maybe/Most Definitely) Because I'm Asian, Why, Yes, I Realize This Is Unhealthy

California Chronicles, Part III

elaaaine — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 22:56:11 +0000

Spent the day in San Francisco.

Did not feel like nearly enough time to do anything.

Think I’m a little bit in love with the city.

Will visit again, someday.

Am planning to resume full, coherent sentences at some later-to-be-determined time.

Oh, San Francisco.

Someday, someday.

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[Image courtesy of: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1156469]

Posted in California Chronicles