I have a secret! It is a shameful secret, so, undoubtedly, the due course of action is to post it up on the internet for all the virtual world to see. Obviously.

I…have been watching so many Asian dramas while here. They are wholly unrealistic. They are predictably repetitive. They are embarrassingly cheesy. They are actually kind of painful to watch. And yet, I can’t stop myself. Even though I know I will later be upset because the pairing of couples not work out like I want it to and I can feel any remaining intelligence I had slowly slipping away from me. Why I torture myself like this, I don’t know. But I do things like this all the time in all sorts of different contexts.

Like, I make myself eat oatmeal. Which sounds fine, but eating oatmeal is such a bizarre experience for me. It reminds me of eating cháo (aka: jook, congee, rice porridge…) except it’s sweet, and it weirds me out because cháo is most assuredly a savory dish. To put it into perspective for you, it would be akin to having mashed potatoes — a decidedly savory food, what with its varieties of butter/bacon/cheese/garlic and all — with, say, strawberry jam or chocolate sauce or spoonfuls of honey. So, the whole oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins? I feel like I’m eating cháo gone horribly wrong, and yet that doesn’t stop me from insisting I try it once (or twice or fourfold) again.

And, lavender. Lavender! I have such a complicated relationship with it. It is a pretty color and a nice enough flower, but I am trying to come to terms with the fact I cannot abide by its smell. Popular scent or not, there is just something overly sharp and unpleasant about it to me. Despite knowing this, I still have to forcibly stop myself from choosing lavender-scented things when buying air fresheners and reed diffusers.

Elaine, why do you do this to yourself? Sob.

‎

[Image courtesy of: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/567992]